When most people set off to use the law of attraction they focus on all the external things that they should be appreciative for. They thank the universe for their house, their car, and even for things that they intend to come in the future. But despite their best efforts they still have trouble attracting their desires. There seems to be a missing link; something that few teachers touch upon, but something important enough to either make the law of attraction work seamlessly or stop it dead in its tracks. And that "something" is the love of self.
When we speak of the love of self we're not necessarily speaking of narcissism or conceit. What it refers to is a healthy love that comes from a place deep within. The basic difference between the two is that arrogance, narcissism, and/or conceit relies on pushing the egos view of self onto others whereas true love of self is entirely within. It doesn't rely on the opinions or approval of others to justify its existence and regardless of what happens "out there," its feeling towards itself is stable and consistent.
A recent study showed that people who simply accept themselves live 15% longer and experience a quarter of sickness of those who have self esteem issues. The same statistics hold true for those who use the law of attraction. If there isn't "attractive feeling towards oneself" then how can you become a magnet to things outside yourself as well? The simple truth is, you can't. You absolutely must have acceptance and appreciation for the mechanism before that mechanism can attract those things which are outside it. Only when we have "true" love of self can the law of attraction work in our lives.
So how do we do it? The first step is to simply invite the possibility that you can accept yourself the way you are right here and now. Many of us like the goal of loving ourselves, but we want certain things to change first before we can allow ourselves to do it. But placing a goal like that in the future is a recipe for failure. It's an excuse not to do it, and the same mentality that doesn't allow you to accept yourself today will come in tomorrow and say: "yes, but..." Ultimately, it's about accepting yourself right now with all your perceived limitations and simply saying YES to it all.
The next step is to love yourself unconditionally. Try a little experiment. Go through your whole body while choosing individual body parts and send them love. Say to them: "You know what, you work hard for me and you have always been there for me. I haven't been very nice to you, but from today forward I'm going to send you love." When you can do this every day with conviction not only will you find renewed health and happiness, but you will find that you can attract things outside yourself as well.
The final step is to go to the mirror and look yourself in the eyes. When first practicing this try not to break eye contact. Stay with it for as long as you can and genuinely say to yourself: "I love you." For many people this practice causes great anxiety. That is why it is one of the best ways to see where you are on the "love of self" scale. If you can do this every day for about 5-10min you will make HUGE strides with your self esteem. You will begin to really feel love for yourself, and you will begin thinking differently not only about you, but about the world as a whole.
In the end we must all remember that the law of attraction starts with that which is doing the attracting. It is within that we must first generate love and appreciation. So take the time to do the steps outlined in this article and see what a little self love can do for your practice with the law of attraction. A little work in this direction will really go a long way.
By Constantine Xanthos
When we speak of the love of self we're not necessarily speaking of narcissism or conceit. What it refers to is a healthy love that comes from a place deep within. The basic difference between the two is that arrogance, narcissism, and/or conceit relies on pushing the egos view of self onto others whereas true love of self is entirely within. It doesn't rely on the opinions or approval of others to justify its existence and regardless of what happens "out there," its feeling towards itself is stable and consistent.
A recent study showed that people who simply accept themselves live 15% longer and experience a quarter of sickness of those who have self esteem issues. The same statistics hold true for those who use the law of attraction. If there isn't "attractive feeling towards oneself" then how can you become a magnet to things outside yourself as well? The simple truth is, you can't. You absolutely must have acceptance and appreciation for the mechanism before that mechanism can attract those things which are outside it. Only when we have "true" love of self can the law of attraction work in our lives.
So how do we do it? The first step is to simply invite the possibility that you can accept yourself the way you are right here and now. Many of us like the goal of loving ourselves, but we want certain things to change first before we can allow ourselves to do it. But placing a goal like that in the future is a recipe for failure. It's an excuse not to do it, and the same mentality that doesn't allow you to accept yourself today will come in tomorrow and say: "yes, but..." Ultimately, it's about accepting yourself right now with all your perceived limitations and simply saying YES to it all.
The next step is to love yourself unconditionally. Try a little experiment. Go through your whole body while choosing individual body parts and send them love. Say to them: "You know what, you work hard for me and you have always been there for me. I haven't been very nice to you, but from today forward I'm going to send you love." When you can do this every day with conviction not only will you find renewed health and happiness, but you will find that you can attract things outside yourself as well.
The final step is to go to the mirror and look yourself in the eyes. When first practicing this try not to break eye contact. Stay with it for as long as you can and genuinely say to yourself: "I love you." For many people this practice causes great anxiety. That is why it is one of the best ways to see where you are on the "love of self" scale. If you can do this every day for about 5-10min you will make HUGE strides with your self esteem. You will begin to really feel love for yourself, and you will begin thinking differently not only about you, but about the world as a whole.
In the end we must all remember that the law of attraction starts with that which is doing the attracting. It is within that we must first generate love and appreciation. So take the time to do the steps outlined in this article and see what a little self love can do for your practice with the law of attraction. A little work in this direction will really go a long way.
By Constantine Xanthos
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